


Weakness

by Elias (nightmareStag)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, LITERALLY, M/M, Romance, business partners to lovers, i dont know, i gotta do everything myself, i guess, inspired by jon bellions good in me, just like, let me have this, that and the shikizaya playlist that tumblr user varrix made, this ship does not have enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 06:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14207229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmareStag/pseuds/Elias
Summary: The story of Shiki acknowledging how it feels to have feelings change





	Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> y'all i fucked up my shoulder real bad and they put me on hydrocodone in the er and like,, i was in the car on the ride home and i heard "The Good in Me" by Jon Bellion and like i /had/ to write this. Anyway I'm high as fuck but like,, lets go. As always beta read by katbutts.

Haruya Shiki tried not to see it for what it was. It’s much easier to acknowledge Izaya at face value than it is to actually look at what he feels. The dull throb that ached deep in the pits of his chest confirmed it just as much as the tremors in his hands when he would stop himself from reaching out for him. He’d rather lie-- rather hide under the guise of a business relationship than bring light to the tightness in his throat that dried into a cough he couldn’t associate with the smoking. 

 

The first time he notices it is during a regular progress meeting. It wasn’t the first time, but it wasn’t far from the first time that Shiki had been allowed access to Izaya’s office. Normally, Izaya is insistent on keeping Shiki at arms length. However, after years of working together, a simple give-and-take was needed in order to establish some semblance of trust, and Izaya was willing to make the first stride. There’s a moment in the meeting when Shiki made a comment; it was off-handed and lacked the usual structure that he used when talking to Izaya, but the second it slipped out, Izaya’s vermillion eyes filled with a kind of adoration that made Shiki’s heart skip into imbalance. 

 

If you’d asked them what the comment was, neither could tell you.

 

The second time, it’s a mutual understanding that whatever was between them couldn’t be swept under the rug as a chance encounter-- simply a moment where the lighting was just right and the room was too quiet. That didn’t mean, however, that they weren’t going to try. Izaya had seemingly been on his way home from completing a job when Shiki had caught him and offered to give him the ride. The conversation that took place there was the first to be personal. Shiki asked about his sisters, and Izaya told him. There were no sideways glances or underlying threats or unnamed tensions (aside from the glaringly obvious one). When they arrived at Izaya’s apartment, his smile was kind and soft, reaching his eyes with a powder thin blush against his cheeks while he thanked Shiki. 

 

The third time had been Izaya’s doing. He’d made a joke, similar to the teasing ones he’d normally slip out during their business encounter, but this one was  _ actually _ funny, and Shiki was filling the space with a feather light laughter that snatched the air from Izaya’s lungs. It was another wall taken down by sheer coincidence, but one that they were both thankful for. 

 

By the fourth time, Shiki is tired of dealing with the longing. He would rather risk the vulnerability and weakness towards the one person that could break him than to choke further on adoration. After Izaya gives his update on his latest assignment, Shiki excuses the men he came with. He approaches Izaya’s desk as casually as he can manage when his heart is pounding in his ears, hoping he looks more composed to the skeptical, offhanded glance Izaya is staring at him with. He’s more guarded than he’s been in a long while, and once they’re alone, Shiki’s hands slip into the pockets of his suit and around the cigarettes he’s been chain-smoking more often than not these days.

 

“Have dinner with me?” he says, quieter than he intended, but Izaya’s grin cuts like glass when he answers.

 

“You already have another assignment? I’m not yet done with this one, but I suppose I can make more time in my schedule for you.”

 

“No,” Shiki says flatly and immediately. “You and me. Dinner. No business.”

 

The stoic flirtatious demeanor of his breaks after a moment of hesitant confusion. Izaya’s hands stop their absent minded typing as they fall into his lap, gaze dropping from Shiki’s faster than his stomach can tumble to his feet. 

 

“Shiki-san, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t believe I understand what you’re asking of me.” 

 

He sounds scared in a way that hurts more than Shiki thinks it has any right to.

 

“I’m asking to take you out, Izaya.” 

 

“Like a date?” Izaya asks, childishly innocent in a way that Shiki didn’t know he could be.

 

“Yes.”

 

His answer comes immediately. “I’d love to.”

 

But that was years ago. Today they’ve been living together in an upscale penthouse just outside of Ikebukuro. They made a space together for just the two of them where their titles and identities don’t matter. Shiki can be open and feel safe with Izaya who lets Shiki in deeper than he’s let anyone else before. Izaya still does his informant work, but rather than taking jobs from many clients, Shiki keeps him busy. Izaya’s happy to do the work. After all, it’s hardly a chore when it’s for the one you love; especially when he’s more than willing to remind you that he loves you too.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for coming to my ted talk


End file.
